I see you. Those are powerful words to me now. I have often been amazed that when my kids had school performances, their main need was to see me and know I was there. Sometimes they would just smile and forget to sing, and some would wave with a happy grin the entire time! Therefore, early in parenting I learned to do whatever it took to make sure they saw I was there. As soon as they walked on stage I would yell out their name and stand up and wave! But then the next consistent action happens. I always get choked up. So I try to hold back tears. I can’t be seen as crazy and wimpy! I could not figure out why that kept happening. The performance had not started, the race had not ended, the award had not been given, yet the tears started. I mean I get it, I was proud of them, they were growing up, all the normal reasons, but it seemed dramatic!
In June, my third born, my first daughter, graduated from high school. She told me to sit on a certain side since she was at the front and I could see her better there. When the music played and they walked in, I got up from my seat and ran to the fence and waited for her to look over. Soon her hand went up and she waved over at me. And then…the tears started. My older son looked at me baffled, and laughed. He said, “You cried at Sam’s graduation because you said it was your first child to graduate. Why are you crying now? And why didn’t you cry at my graduation?” I smiled and explained that I did, he was on stage so he didn’t see me. But as the ceremony went on I thought more about it. Then all the little kid performances came flooding back. And I remembered a Bible story that was recently made into an episode in a series called The Chosen. It is a very emotional scene. Jesus says, “When you were in your lowest moment and you were alone, I did not turn my face from you. I saw you under the fig tree, and you cried out to me. I see you Nathaniel.” All the pieces fell into place as I remembered all this while I was at graduation. Name after name called out to walk across the stage. Parents yelling out names, cheering, blowing horns, clapping loudest for their child. Our children want to be seen. They want to know we really SEE them. And as parents, it is emotional. Our wave and screaming their name says, “I do see you! I am right here for you no matter what! I love you! You are mine! I am so proud of you!” And that is what we need from our heavenly Father as well, isn’t it? It is amazing when God gives us glimpses of His love as we parent. In all the ways we will make mistakes, He reminds us that ‘love covers a multitude of sins’ (both theirs and ours!)
When my kids were very little and did not know how to word things, they improvised with what they knew. And I often found it better! One phrase will stick with me forever. I was listening to my toddler sharing about something important but I was looking at other things and thinking about other things as well. He came over and said “listen, mama”. I told him I was. He gently grabbed my face, holding his hands flat against my cheeks and said, “no mama, listen with your face.” I did just that from then on, as often as I could. We ALL want to be seen. So put down the phone, the book, stop the multitasking as you talk to the little ones. As you talk to…anyone!
I hope you heard the most important part, God. Sees. You. El Roi! God of seeing. He sees you and He loves you. He is listening to you with his face!
Lisa Riddle
